Overheard

(at Target, while I was looking at the dollar aisle)

K: Mom, I ate some candy!

Me: Where did you get candy?

K: I don't know. From here (pointing to the shopping cart).

(In fairness, he was staying right beside me as instructed. I didn't say anything about not eating someone else's reject candy.)

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K: Mom, what is this? (said as I was getting ready this morning and he was looking in my drawer)

Me: A headband.

K: Do kitty cats wear these?

You know, cause it was just Halloween, and girls/women who dress like cats always wear headbands with ears.

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Me: Kellen, do you want a burrito for lunch?

K (as nonchalant as you can get): Um, maybe I'll just have some candy.

Yeah, whatever.